Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Enjoying Activities Friend Free

I have always marveled at how some people are fearful or embarrassed to go places alone, movies, restaurants, trips and more... When the activity or passion is important.. being able to focus without others is so helpful... Being able to ignore the thoughts of others or what others may think.....
There is a difference between choosing to do things alone and not having a choice. We are not talking about loneliness or grief.. but the Freedom to enjoy activities Friend Free in the world and follow your bliss.
Here is a great article that I wanted to share.
Friend Free Perks

If you are struggling to let go of those that are toxic or grieving the loss of someone you cared for... We can work thru those painful and what can be a high stress transition... 
Kendall Wagner, MFT (Email)
760 434-9694

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Hold Me Tight: A workshop for Couples based on Emotionally Focused Therapy

The Hold Me Tight program is a psychoeducational two day workshop created using the Evidence Based Couples therapy Emotionally Focused Therapy.

The workshop is open to all couples whether they are in therapy or not. The intensive program goes thru a series of discussions and questions that a couple can use to create a more open and intimate bond. This also helps with beginning to heal past wounds or identify dynamics that we may have brought into our relationship.

The Carlsbad Counseling Center will be holding the Workshop in July, September and October of 2018. Each workshop will be limited to 5 couples
The fee will be $600 per couple. The set dates are not confirmed, but the program will be held in Carlsbad, Ca.

The Challenge and Hope of Reunification Therapy

This is a wonderful precise article about the challenges facing not only the Reunification Therapist but the family as well.

Reunification Therapy

If you are requesting or have been required to begin Reunification Therapy, please feel free to email me or call 760 434 9694

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Ways Children can learn social skills between children.

A long time ago I wrote about the importance of sleep overs and playdates. I just came across this great article and wanted to share.. It sums of the struggles and hopefully will get you thinking of how to be creative and find ways for our children to socialize with out parental organization..
Our Playdate Society

Kendall Wagner, MFT is the director and a parent educator at the Carlsbad Counseling Center.

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Couples Therapy: a great Article ...

I have always worked with couples and over the last few years my practice has become primarily couples focused.  Here is a great article written by another Emotionally Focused Therapist Angela  Bisignano, Ph.D.  The Secrets to Lasting Love

If you would like to know more and or schedule an appt. please follow the link below:
Kendall Wagner, MFT. Carlsbad Counseling Center
or call
760 434-9694

Monday, November 20, 2017

Thanksgiving and Christmas and YOU!

I wanted to share. a "how not to be that person" tip. There are so many stressful issues around the holidays. Between holiday blues, percipitory anxiety and just plan not wanting to be there... there is one way to not add to the issues..

Let your family know today if you have any eating or food issues. 
1.If you are on a diet:                   Be off it for the day.. 

2.If you have food preferences:   Be Adventurous for the day

3. IF you have real dietary issues: Let them know now or bring a dish you can eat. I have been this person in the past and I know others that either can't eat or have issues. Let your host know now... so they are not caught off guard and you can plan ahead. 

As for how to deal with the relies that you are going to be triggered by... treat them like acquaintances. Not the family they are... You will feel better in the long run.. :) 

Happy Holiday Marathon!

Monday, October 30, 2017

ONLINE/VIDEO Services updated list

Carlsbad Counseling Center is pleased to announce an expansion of our online/ live video feed services. Kendall is now providing court mandated classes via live video. The following may now be accessed through the privacy of your own home: Anger Management, Parenting (co and high conflict) Out Patient Substance Treatment, Elder abuse and shoplifting and court mandated counseling.
The following services do continue to be offered.
Individual counseling and psychotherapy (ACT and EFIT*)
Couples Therapy (Emotionally Focused Therapy)

ACT= Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
EFIT= Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy

Sunday, August 20, 2017

DBT Group Starts in September 2017

8 week Emotion Efficacy Therapy
 protocol available with Kendall Wagner, MFT
EET combines the best of DBTACT and exposure therapy to help you implement new coping strategies even when under stress or in Crisis.
Starting September, 2017.  You must be able to commit to the whole 8 weeks. If you know ahead of time, you will be gone for one meeting, we can set up a time to go over the missed materials and techniques. The cost is $320.00 , you may pay weekly at $40 per week.
This course is and may be used to meet anger management class requirements and or a part of the out patient substance treatment program.
    760 434-9694 (call/text)

Out Patient Substance Abuse Program: Carlsbad Counseling Center

Carlsbad Counseling Center offers an out patient Substance Abuse/treatment Program. Our program is on the court referral list and completion of the program is accepted by the San Diego Superior Court.
I would like to provide an overview for those that may be interested, thru the courts or seeking out treatment on their own. This program attempts to reduce the cost of treatment by incorporating  attendance at certain free programs. 
Our program is a minimum of Three Months with many seeing the program as a six month commitment. The duration is decided between the client, the center and if there is a court order, what the court time-frame has required.
The first step in an intake appointment. We go over why you are wanting to enroll in the program, your history of substance use and what you are hoping to get out of the process.
Each Client is required to meet at the center for one Individual appointment per week, along with this each client commits to two self help meetings a week. One of them must be a SMART meeting. The other may be a traditional 12 step.. 
There is a requirement to focus on sober living and self growth. If court mandated there will be random drug testing. Usually only one or two times thru the program.

If you or someone you love would like to work on changing your way of coping and doing life, please feel free to call or email for a private consultation.
                                                            Kendall Wagner, MFT
                                   Clinical Director
                          Carlsbad Counseling Center

Monday, June 5, 2017

The Courage to Speak Up.

     When we hear or think about child sexual abuse we always say, I would be so angry, I would kill (not literally) anyone that hurt a child. 
What we know is that statistically most sexual abuse happens within the family or by a close family friend. Many of you reading this were victims of sexual abuse at the hands of a grandparent, uncle/aunt or close family friend. It was the unspoken truth that everyone knew.

Which Children Are Molested?
Children are most at risk from the adults in their own family, and from the adults who are in their parents' social circle. In fact, 90 percent of abusers target children in their own families and children who they know well. Furthermore, research suggests that the risk is across the board: Child molesters come from every part of our society, and so children from every part of our society are at risk.

Notice that only 10 percent of the child sexual abusers report that they molest a child who is a stranger.

     This week, a very courageous woman spoke up and shared the truth of sexual abuse within her own family. She reported her husband of over 20 years, the father of her 6 children. Her life and the lives of her children will never be the same.

     As she continues to process and possibly grieve the loss of her marriage (as she knew it) the family and stability that has been shattered, she will have moments of shock and disbelief.

     Very rarely does sexual abuse happen in a vacuum, and usually others in the family are either clearly aware or turning a blind eye to what they suspect is happening due to the fall out. The loss of income, relationships , shame and the sharing publicly of personal trauma. Please think if it was your husband, son or friend, if you would lose everything.. What would you do?

     In the days and weeks and years that follow, please ask yourself can you and would you have the courage to speak up when doing so would destroy everything that you had held dear for so many years.
     Sadly, the level of media coverage and destruction may force some of you to slip back into the woodwork.. out of fear that this could have been your story.. This can also be an inspiring example of standing up and telling the truth at great personal and emotional loss.
     Today and this week, as more unfolds, this woman continues to be one of the bravest women out there and is an example of not hiding abuse and doing the right thing.