Friday, February 26, 2016

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy video

As an ACT therapist there are a few videos that I love to share. They help us understand that our feelings are valid but that does not mean they have to run or ruin our lives. Here is one that deals with our negative or unwanted thoughts and emotions.
Please meet Brian.

Therapy is not that simple, but this does show the focus on where our negative thoughts and feelings need to be in our internal lives...

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

A commitment to a son.. an excerpt from the photographer Lorenzo Menendez to his son.

 .Lorenzo Menendez a well known Carlsbad /San Diego photographer posted this message to his son.

 To you my son i make no promises that i cannot keep but make this commitment to you.....i will never stop loving you and i will never stop trying. I will not keep my mistakes or weaknesses from you but share them openly for you to learn that all of us make mistakes but are not beyond redemption. I will not protect you from the consequences of your actions but hold your hand as you face them. i will not shield you from darkness but walk with you through it as we search for Gods guiding light. I will not hide my fears, my pain, my tears or my brokenness from you and disguise it as strength but you will see all these things when life brings me to my knees and from there i can show you that on my knees in search of Gods wisdom and guidance is where true strength begins. I do not live in fear of the mistakes i will make in the future as you grow for God already knew them and still entrusted me with you. In my heart i know this, my love for you is never ending and no matter what you do, no matter what mistakes you make i will always be there with arms open to share your joy, your tears, your laughter and pain. 

I posted this as it shows his love for his son, enough to promise not to rescue his son from himself, not abandon him, but walk thru his son's life and actions with him. As parents, we went from total lack of involvement to over indulgence in the name of love and good parenting. Although the tide is changing, I see the struggle of parents trying to let children learn from their own mistakes. It is hard, as it breaks our own hearts. Sometimes helping our children is really a rescuing of ourselves from our own pain. 

To promise to be strong enough to walk thru our children's lives with them is so difficult and we all fail. BUT that is the goal....

Monday, February 22, 2016

Carlsbad Counseling Center: list of court related services.

The Carlsbad Counseling Center has been providing compassionate care since 1994. These services include counseling for adults, children, couples and teens. We use a variety of approaches based on the needs of the client. We work with issues of depression, anxiety, anger, eating disorders, divorce, grief and more.

In the last 5 years we have continued to increase our court related services:
Currently we offer:
Court related (mandated) classes:
Parent Coordinator: Kendall Wagner,MFT only
Parenting (high conflict, co parenting)
Shop Lifting
Anger Management
Professionally Supervised Visitation
Reunification (conjoint) Therapy
Mental health/counseling services.

Our Mediation Center is formally open: 
Working with helping parties resolve privately issues of custody, visitation, divorce settlements and neighbor to neighbor disputes. 
Over the last 20 years we have worked with individuals prepare for court mediation and depositions. These services continue to be available.

Please contact the Carlsbad Counseling Center with questions about our services or issues surrounding your specific situation. All contacts are handled privately and confidentiality is a part of all services unless mandated by the court.

Carlsbad Counseling Center

Kendall Wagner,MFT 1-(760) 434-9694 or email us.

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Great Article about Conjoint Therapy and Reunification Therapy from Psychology Today

At the Carlsbad Counseling Center we do court ordered Reunification Therapy. In another post I shared the difference between Reunification Therapy and Supervised Visitation. Today I want to share a Psychology Today article about issues to look at during the Conjoint Therapy process. This is a clinical article but I do think it is helpful for both parents entering into the process and to give a perspective of what the child is going through.
Here is the article.

If you have been court ordered (or not) and are interested in the services provided by the Carlsbad Counseling Center,
please contact us at: 1-760-434-9694 or email us at: Carlsbad Counseling Center

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Word! Intentional living with one word. By Deborah Mori, MFTI

Here is something near and dear to my heart...

Word! Intentional living with one word.

Usually the start of a new year is met with hope, inspiration, and motivation. People see it as a way to begin fresh and set resolutions to change what isn't working in their lives. However, many times by the time February roles around, those New Year Resolutions are long forgotten. Could this be you? Quite a few years ago it used to be me I can tell you for sure! Not anymore though and here's why...

I realized instead of taking something away or trying to 'give up' a bad habit, adding something positive fared much better and produced significant results. I didn't add a new diet or work out routine or new rules. I only added on thing and that was a word of intention. In December, I would start reflecting on the past year and what worked and what did not work and anything I'd like to see different in the coming year. By thinking about these things, a word would usually show up and keep showing up that signified what these intentions could be. For example...

One year I chose breathe. Something significant happened that year and I regularly forgot to breathe and found myself holding my breath, so by intentionally choosing this word I began to concentrate on my breath. Over the course of the year I learned to use deep breathing as a tool to help calm my nerves and anxiety.

Another year I chose simplify. I had so much clutter in my brain trying to run two businesses and other busy life responsibilities that I needed to slow down and become more organized. That idea was overwhelming but asking myself "how can I simplify this moment?" when I felt chaotic helped me slowly simplify my life throughout that year.

So for this year my word is attend. It's not the prettiest word but it reminds me to tend to all the personal things I've pushed aside. This is going to be a powerful year! I invite you to think of one word that is meaningful to you and see if using this word over the course of one year can make a significant change for you. It can be an amazing move as I have realized the power of intention one word at a time!
Deborah Mori, MS, MFTI#82381
2777 Jefferson St. Ste. 200
Carlsbad, CA 92003