Thursday, December 6, 2018

This is the best parental message... please watch and see the honesty in his insight

I am sharing a video that I came across the other day. I love all of his videos but this one struck me as so powerful and meaningful to all of us.. Especially parents... 
SBSK Productions: Evey's Energy

Sunday, November 18, 2018

Holidays are Here... Sorry and Enjoy....

This is a short reminder:

If we can remember that: We can treat others with humility, kindness and mercy.

This does not mean a lack of boundaries but a lack or retaliation in words and deeds.

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Reunification Therapy : A non-custodial parents journey

I have uploaded the third in the series. This is painful for all parties and especially for the children. 
Here are the main points of the VLOG.

struggles and misconceptions of and with the non custodial parent

1. Only my ex doesn't want me to see the children.
2. the kids will be thrilled and happy
  a:depending on circumstance.. maybe not
  b:alliance with the custodial parent
3. I am angry and the kids need to know why I haven't been here... (focus not on      the kids)
4. more then just meeting.. lots to process thru and how to move forward. 
5. listen to the conjoint therapist and your own as you move forward. You may know your child better but the specialists know the dynamics of the impact of custody and visitation has on children. 

Do not pass up an opportunity to see children supervised or not.
BE persistent.

These are the notes I used in making this vlog. 

Monday, October 22, 2018

Custodial Parents and emotions (Reunification Therapy part 2) At least 10 thoughts...

As the custodial parent you have been there for your child, supported them, protected them and been both mom and dad while on an emotional roller coaster. You have done this while dealing with your own emotions over the impact situations have had on your child(ten) and yourself... You may be dealing with heartbreak, loss and financial and survival concerns...
NOW a judge has said you have to help bring the other (non custodial) parent back into your child's life. Your first few instincts, thoughts and emotions are probably.
1. NO WAY.. after what she(he) did?
2.They are not safe.. the court does not understand.
3. My child does not want to see them.
4. After all I am dealing with... I do not want the court to take my child
5. I have made promises to my child... to keep him safe.
6. I do not know if I can handle this now...
7. We have gotten into a routine...
8. The NCP hasn't changed or shows any sign of wanting help.
10. Fear that the court is now dictating how to handle these personal parental decisions.

As part of the Reunification Process, the therapist will meet with you on several occasions and help you process the thoughts, concerns and usually outrage. You will also benefit from having your own therapist that the RT can work with... I call all of this parental PTSD... and you do need support to help you through this.

Here is a the VIDEO

Carlsbad Counseling Center

Friday, October 19, 2018

Parenting in the Tech era: Live Streaming ... newest app.. Rize and more!

I wanted to sent this great video from CNN about live streaming video "the new wave".. it is about talking to others in live time vs. posting pics and getting feedback. 

As I start my series in a few weeks on teens and social media.. I love the idea that face to face contact is becoming the new "it" mode ... This may be seeing SM coming full circle. 

Live Stream Article on CNN (11 minutes)

There are lots of pieces to maneuver while parenting in the SM age... trying to get ahead of or at least along side of it.. so extremely important.

I will be revisiting this once my series on Reunification Therapy is complete.

If you would like to meet in person or on or have specific situations you would like me to address.. my contact info is just below.
or click here if you would like to subscribe to my YouTubeChannel

Please feel free to email me at: 
Kendall Wagner, MFT
or call or text: 760 434-9694

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Reunification Therapy: A typical Protocol

This is considered a typical Reunification Therapy Protocol.
Every family and situation are different so, this is a guideline for the family to understand the steps and plan the Therapist will have in working with all family members.

  1. Intake session(s) with the parent seeking reunification – 1-4 hours
  2. Intake session(s) with the custodial parent – 1-4 hours
  3. Intake sessions (1 hour) with the child/ren in preparation for the joint reunification sessions: 2-4 sessions
  4. Individual and whole family interventions to treat the contributions to the parent-child problems
  5. Reunification sessions with parent and child (1 hour) – 4-8 sessions or more
  6. At least one (1) session is conducted in the home of the parent seeking reunification (Although this is part of the typical protocol, This is NOT a step that I do)


Saturday, October 13, 2018

Sunday, October 7, 2018

We are live!!

I have just uploaded my first Video... Carlsbad Counseling Center YouTube
This is a practice one but wanted to put it out there so you can watch my progress and hopefully be encouraged to try something new also. I have seen and it is so common for people not to try because they do not have the tools...or are afraid of the outcome or to be seen as vulnerable...
The challenge is to enjoy the learning/adventure vs. the outcome...
If you would like to come in and talk about the butterflies of starting to follow your own muse or interests.. email or call and we can talk.
Kendall Wagner, MFT     Email or call 7604349694

Saturday, September 29, 2018

Open for Questions?

I have gotten to a season where I am able to launch my YouTube Channel. I will be answering questions and sharing perspectives of clinical issues, personal relationships and the impact that current events may have on our lives.
If you have a question you would like me to answer, please email me at
I will be launching the first Thursday in October..  Practicing what I preach which is just get started and learn along the way.
Here we go!!!

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Enjoying Activities Friend Free

I have always marveled at how some people are fearful or embarrassed to go places alone, movies, restaurants, trips and more... When the activity or passion is important.. being able to focus without others is so helpful... Being able to ignore the thoughts of others or what others may think.....
There is a difference between choosing to do things alone and not having a choice. We are not talking about loneliness or grief.. but the Freedom to enjoy activities Friend Free in the world and follow your bliss.
Here is a great article that I wanted to share.
Friend Free Perks

If you are struggling to let go of those that are toxic or grieving the loss of someone you cared for... We can work thru those painful and what can be a high stress transition... 
Kendall Wagner, MFT (Email)
760 434-9694

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Hold Me Tight: A workshop for Couples based on Emotionally Focused Therapy

The Hold Me Tight program is a psychoeducational two day workshop created using the Evidence Based Couples therapy Emotionally Focused Therapy.

The workshop is open to all couples whether they are in therapy or not. The intensive program goes thru a series of discussions and questions that a couple can use to create a more open and intimate bond. This also helps with beginning to heal past wounds or identify dynamics that we may have brought into our relationship.

The Carlsbad Counseling Center will be holding the Workshop in July, September and October of 2018. Each workshop will be limited to 5 couples
The fee will be $600 per couple. The set dates are not confirmed, but the program will be held in Carlsbad, Ca.

The Challenge and Hope of Reunification Therapy

This is a wonderful precise article about the challenges facing not only the Reunification Therapist but the family as well.

Reunification Therapy

If you are requesting or have been required to begin Reunification Therapy, please feel free to email me or call 760 434 9694