Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Reunification Therapy : A non-custodial parents journey

I have uploaded the third in the series. This is painful for all parties and especially for the children. 
Here are the main points of the VLOG.

struggles and misconceptions of and with the non custodial parent

1. Only my ex doesn't want me to see the children.
2. the kids will be thrilled and happy
  a:depending on circumstance.. maybe not
  b:alliance with the custodial parent
3. I am angry and the kids need to know why I haven't been here... (focus not on      the kids)
4. more then just meeting.. lots to process thru and how to move forward. 
5. listen to the conjoint therapist and your own as you move forward. You may know your child better but the specialists know the dynamics of the impact of custody and visitation has on children. 

Do not pass up an opportunity to see children supervised or not.
BE persistent.

These are the notes I used in making this vlog. 

Monday, October 22, 2018

Custodial Parents and emotions (Reunification Therapy part 2) At least 10 thoughts...

As the custodial parent you have been there for your child, supported them, protected them and been both mom and dad while on an emotional roller coaster. You have done this while dealing with your own emotions over the impact situations have had on your child(ten) and yourself... You may be dealing with heartbreak, loss and financial and survival concerns...
NOW a judge has said you have to help bring the other (non custodial) parent back into your child's life. Your first few instincts, thoughts and emotions are probably.
1. NO WAY.. after what she(he) did?
2.They are not safe.. the court does not understand.
3. My child does not want to see them.
4. After all I am dealing with... I do not want the court to take my child
5. I have made promises to my child... to keep him safe.
6. I do not know if I can handle this now...
7. We have gotten into a routine...
8. The NCP hasn't changed or shows any sign of wanting help.
10. Fear that the court is now dictating how to handle these personal parental decisions.

As part of the Reunification Process, the therapist will meet with you on several occasions and help you process the thoughts, concerns and usually outrage. You will also benefit from having your own therapist that the RT can work with... I call all of this parental PTSD... and you do need support to help you through this.

Here is a the VIDEO

Carlsbad Counseling Center

Friday, October 19, 2018

Parenting in the Tech era: Live Streaming ... newest app.. Rize and more!

I wanted to sent this great video from CNN about live streaming video "the new wave".. it is about talking to others in live time vs. posting pics and getting feedback. 

As I start my series in a few weeks on teens and social media.. I love the idea that face to face contact is becoming the new "it" mode ... This may be seeing SM coming full circle. 

Live Stream Article on CNN (11 minutes)

There are lots of pieces to maneuver while parenting in the SM age... trying to get ahead of or at least along side of it.. so extremely important.

I will be revisiting this once my series on Reunification Therapy is complete.

If you would like to meet in person or on Telehealthcounseling.com or have specific situations you would like me to address.. my contact info is just below.
or click here if you would like to subscribe to my YouTubeChannel

Please feel free to email me at: 
Kendall Wagner, MFT
or call or text: 760 434-9694

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Reunification Therapy: A typical Protocol

This is considered a typical Reunification Therapy Protocol.
Every family and situation are different so, this is a guideline for the family to understand the steps and plan the Therapist will have in working with all family members.

  1. Intake session(s) with the parent seeking reunification – 1-4 hours
  2. Intake session(s) with the custodial parent – 1-4 hours
  3. Intake sessions (1 hour) with the child/ren in preparation for the joint reunification sessions: 2-4 sessions
  4. Individual and whole family interventions to treat the contributions to the parent-child problems
  5. Reunification sessions with parent and child (1 hour) – 4-8 sessions or more
  6. At least one (1) session is conducted in the home of the parent seeking reunification (Although this is part of the typical protocol, This is NOT a step that I do)


Saturday, October 13, 2018

Sunday, October 7, 2018

We are live!!

I have just uploaded my first Video... Carlsbad Counseling Center YouTube
This is a practice one but wanted to put it out there so you can watch my progress and hopefully be encouraged to try something new also. I have seen and it is so common for people not to try because they do not have the tools...or are afraid of the outcome or to be seen as vulnerable...
The challenge is to enjoy the learning/adventure vs. the outcome...
If you would like to come in and talk about the butterflies of starting to follow your own muse or interests.. email or call and we can talk.
Kendall Wagner, MFT     Email or call 7604349694